A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

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A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

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Whats yellow and gives you cancer? The sun

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

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I'm pretty sure this site has been taken over by 12 year olds... None of these are funny

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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did you hear about the dyslexic, overweight, wheelchair bound blind guy? No? Niether did I, I'm deaf so don't hear about anything.

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Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Nobody..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

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One muffin says to the other muffin "it sure is hot in here." the other muffin replies "you know, technically, we're not muffins because we're not done cooking yet."

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

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Why do black poeple like fryed chicken? Becuase it greases there insides just like there outsides.

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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Obama Getting Re-Elected.

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your so homosexual you go to a gay bar every couple of weeks so you get the social acceptance you need.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops