roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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A young man walks into a bar. A complicated chain of events leads to him marrying the owner's second cousin's half-niece-in-law.

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What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

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What did the blind man say to his wife? -would you mind helping me upstairs, for I cannot see.

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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Why is Justin bieber gay? Because he is atracted to men

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

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Why was the boy in the hospital? He was visiting his grandmother, she had cancer and the doctor gave her 3 months to live.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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