how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the cookie monster eat? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops