Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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roses are red, violets are blue, penis

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Please don't shoot me

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Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, Show me your ti ts.

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What did one lion say to the other lion? Nothing. There was no other lion. This particular lion had horrible social anxiety so he spent most of his time alone, eating buffalo poop and playing World of Warcraft thus further alienating himself from the other lions. He was a very lonely lion.

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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