What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

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What's better than winning the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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A black guy, a jew, and an asian walk into a bar, have a beer each, and then leave, because they have high-paying jobs and don't want to risk getting DUIs.

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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Why are black people black? Because they're clearly not white.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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Whats funny about a fat person dying? He died while eating friend chicken

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What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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