What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti-jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

wanna hear a joke? womans rights

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops