Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

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What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

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person 1: Do you have a christmas necklace I could borrow for a party? person 2: I have a one with a leprechaun.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Banana soup, Gorilla poop

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy jump off a bridge. Who hits the ground first? It doesn't matter. They are all going to die.

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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