A black man walks into a convienent store, pays for his stuff and leaves

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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They say Jesus Christ walked on water and that humans are made up of 70% water...... So if I walk on babies, am I 70% Jesus?

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What did the snake say to the rat?

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

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how many jews does it take for me to be able to have sex with my cousin's girlfriend? idk, but that's how many I need. actually let me have some extras. couldn't hurt.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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I love alchohol!

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Why was the multi-millionaire entreprenuer sad? He went bankrupt.

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A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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Anyone can post anything.

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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people magazine

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

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A Jew walks into Macy's

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You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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