What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why did the boy let go of his red ballon? Because he was hit by a car

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

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Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

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whats better then a pile of dead babies? 2 piles of dead babies

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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If a tree fell in the forest, and no one was around to hear it, would you like a cupcake?

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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What was pauls mum screaming? Rape

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

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Why did they serve Swiss cheese at the church? It was lunchtime.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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