What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

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Why is Satan evil? Because he makes people eat apples.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

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What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

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This is a joke.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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