why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

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Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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two men walk into a bar. they get a concussion.

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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Q

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So a seal walks into a club.

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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Q: What's black, long, and floppy? A: Black Licorice

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops