I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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How do spell____? awk moment when u try asking someone how to spell something over text but they have no idea what ur saying

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what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

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What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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jamie and danel texta like to make love to each other using a gerbal as a toy when they make love they get a african covered in jelly to help them.

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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