What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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black people

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Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

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Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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a white men said to another white men that someone robbed a bank, it was at night and he wasn't wearing a mask, and also the camera couldn't see him, they now found out that he was black.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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Q: What do you call black guys running down a hill? A: Black guys running down a hill.

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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