what's the funniest joke? wish i knew

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

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What's black and white and red all over? My dog after she was hit by a car (true story)

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whats worse than getting hit whit a baseball? getting hit by a train

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because colonel sanders was chasing it with an axe

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

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Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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How do you fit 94 jews in a volkswagon? two in the front, three in the back, and 89 in the ash tray

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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