Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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Y did the boy fall down the stairs???? He was In a wheel chair

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

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Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

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Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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Three Lawyers are walking, one falls down, gets up and continues walking

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What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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