Q #1: Why did Sally fall off the swings? A #1: She has no arms. Q #2: Knock Knock Who's There? Not Sally.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

Roses Are Red , Violets Are Blue , Go Die .

mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

jack and jill climbed up the hill but they were bagels

Why did the Jews go into the shower? Because they had just finish a basketball game and they needed to freshen up.

Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

What did Newton say to Einstein? Nothing, Newton was dead before Einstein's birth.

Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

What did the goose say to the other goose? Honk!

An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

Why did the chicken cross the road. He didn't, this joke gets old really fast

American: Nice cowboy hat Australian: hahahahahaha American: What's so funny? Australian: You're so incompetent... American: What does incompetent mean? Australian: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/78/Trollface.svg/200px-Trollface.svg.png

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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