A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

thumb_up thumb_down +15

2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +13

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

VITAMIN C!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Adolf the Red-Nosed Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black man that has just gotten out of jail? A former criminal who has served his time in prison and is now trying to redeem himself by becoming a respectable member of his community

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops