What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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Whats small white and has a hole in it? A powdered Donut

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If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

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Q:Why do you never run over black guy on a bicycle A: Because that is not a very nice thing to do

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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