When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw bricks at its face.

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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Me and my family won courtside tickets to the World Finals basketball game! ...WNBA...

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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We found a cure for cancer. Death

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

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A Christian and an Atheist are sitting next to each other in a bar. C: Sad you don't believe in God, 'cuz you'll go to hell after your death. A:I don't believe in hell neither..

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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life is like a penis, short but feels long when it's hard.

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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