Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

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why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

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Stop looking at these jokes and go fuck yourself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

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A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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Never mail in your wished to a genie, he may be dyslexic.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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What does the fox say? "It's called a hustle, sweetheart."

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Madeline McCan

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your Grandmother died.

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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A horse walks into a bar. He called him Arthur. Those are two sentences.

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Black people

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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why did the chicken cross the road? i don't know u tell me

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what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

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If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

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There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops