Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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okay so three men are in a plane ( this is the type of plane you can open the windows) so the stewardess goes up to the first man he asks for a gun she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window he confused but he does it anyways the stewardess goes to the second man he asks for a beer she agrees but he has to throw it out the window hes confused but he does it anyways the stewardess walks up the the third man he asks for a pack of C4 she agrees but hes gotta throw it out the window without hesitation he gets it and throws it out the window. so they land and the first man sees a women crieing i was walking down the street and got hit in the head by a gun and arested for being armed the second man sees a hobo cheering loudly hes says he was sleeping in the ally and it started raining budlight the third man shes a women hysterically laughing she says i was going to work and spilled my coffe then my house blew up!

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How do you keep an idiot busy? Give him something to do.

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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Why did the little girl cross the road??? To get away from the strange man

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lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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Yo momma so fat she's obese.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

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A man watched his city burn. He was traumatized by the loss of his friends and family and went to therapy to recover.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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