Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

How do you keep a blond in suspense?

A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber's talent.

A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open it up and stick him in. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Take out the elephant and put in the giraffe.

Go away still nothing to see

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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