Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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This is a joke.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

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Chuck Norris threw a grendade, killed 50 people, then it exploded This is a highly improbable event considering no man is faster then a grenade

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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Why couldn't Little Johnny read his 3rd grade novel? His was repeatedly stabbed in his eyes.

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops