Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

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Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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a man was shot.... he died

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What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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What is the leading cause of death? - Dying.

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You know what's funny? You got AIDs

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops