why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A black man walks into a movie theatre... And pay for a ticket that would grant him access to watch the verity Of movies available to watch that month of screening. He picks the warhorse which was critically acclaimed by many respected critics. He watched and observed the positive and negative points of the the film. When it ended he took a long a ride home on the number 76 bus to ibswitch road where he lived during that time, and wrote about his opionion on the movie and how he thought the movie could be improved. He done this same routen for another six months, every saturday, until he died of aids shorty after a homosexual fling.

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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When Miley Cyrus sticks out her tongue, people usually are there to take a photograph.

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Well, that depends if the apocalypse was happening and if there were even any Americans left at all.

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Your mom is so old, I am surprised she can still own a house and function on her own.

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

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what did the dog eat for dinner? food.

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roses are red, windows are clear, get off your ass and bring me a beer

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

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Why did Chuck Norris eat a sandwich? Because he was hungry.

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What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

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Whats fluffy, multicolored, and dances like a disco santaclaus? i don't know.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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