Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's worse than school? A:Your mum dying

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What do you call Lebron James on a roller Coster? A. A man who makes a lot of money and decided to take his family out on a family fun day to an amusement park.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: How many Jews can u fit in a bathtub? A: Well it depends if you use their ashes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do black people and asians have in common? arms

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There are two kids playing basketball outside one kid shoots and makes it. The other youngster exclaims "nice shot!" because the other boy put the ball in the hoop from a very long distance.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The horse walks into the bar and the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse looks at him and says, "my wife just died."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

your brother so fine that hes skinney

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender then asks him "Why the long face?" The horse then gives the bartender an unwilling look as he walks to the other side of the bar where several people leave due to potential danger in the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops