What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? Well, contrary to popular belief, it is NOT Master Pain's (Betty's) "butt". You would most likely get a bungee jumping owl.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar

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My children are mistakes

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food?? Neither have they...

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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A dog walks into a bar. He's a service animal, so this is allowed.

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What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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What happened to the baby seal who went clubbing? He met a nice woman and contracted HIV from her after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse after taking her to his flat.

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops