Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

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A blonde, brunette, brown walk into a hair salon. They then proceed to each get they're own procedures done then leave not having any contact with each other.

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Get up Look in the mirror

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hi

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What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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Say this to someone: On a scale from one to ten, what is your favorite color?

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

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DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops