So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

What did Osama say before he was shot? Nothing, it was a surprise attack.

A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

Why did the boy drop his vannlai ice cream?because Vannlia ice came.

What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

So an African, Asian, and White man walk into a bar, what do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead...

What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...