How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Knock knock Who's there? John Oh hello John come on in mate.

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women's rights.

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it's weird how Jesus came out of the cave on the same day as Easter

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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2 boys are going to get candy from the store. What happened? A robbery and they were killed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

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An escalade with 5 black men crashes off a cliff and all of them die. this is terrible. an escalade seats 7.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A priest, a jew, and a pirate walk into a bar. An exchange of dialogue occurs with the bartender and hilarity ensues.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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Knock knock Whos there An axe murderer oh sweet come on in.... dinners on the stove and i am here all alone

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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lol i'm going to hell for laughing at this shit

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Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

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what did jacob say to coach a joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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