You are in a room with hitler and bin Ladin. You have a gun with 1 bullet. Who do shoot? Don't worry you don't have to make that decision. They are already both dead

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kill yourself....with a cigarette

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one day ill be as old as you but you'll be older then too.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!"

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Why didn't the man walk up the stairs? He had an acorn stairlift.

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What did the black man do when he saw a bike sitting on the sidewalk? He took it into the shop paid for it and rode off feeling good about how hes helping the environment.

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A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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What is older than history?

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Person1: Have you heard about the girraffe who doesn't eat Georgia peaches? Person2: yes. Person1: Oh, never mind then.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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the world is made out of 4 things. protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams,heat does.

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What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

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Girls Lacrosse.

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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