Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

69

What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

so a unicorn walks into a bar... and then i woke up

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

when life gives you lemons... squeeze the juice into your eyes.

What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

Jews claim to be God`s chosen people... Look how it went for them, the original Jews are of course gone, everyone else is part something else, "only Jews" are gone. 1. Do you believe that God chose you, just because you decided to choose him? Now you, are not chosen, but brainwashed by your parents and ancestors by threats of hell and fear, you have CHOSEN, to follow him, too bad he is dead, he had no love for himself, why would he be jealous of his own creations and created them all in order to DEMAND your love? Your love was not enough I suppose, I would know if I cared... 2. What Good is today, and the meaning behind commands. ...God demands your elders stone your children to death when they misbehave! I applad your GOODNESS if you do so (better than selling them as whores and slaves, as he of course DEMANDED as well) yet you apparently believed that his COMMANDS where you know... suggestions... Now we know why he died. 3. Let us all spend a moment in rememberance of my brother Jesus. Now I want all Christians, you who killed my brother and stole his name, to go and read "Ave Maria" the ONLY chapter 97 PERCENT of you have read (true fact) another 5000 times, so that you can keep denying GODS other words, those whose meaning remain intact... You do not even have the same name for him for every nation... No wonder he died. 4. My brother`s words "Jesus" spelled Yoshua, once said "Only him that hate his mother and father can become student of mine" Do you believe that your bible translated tredicillions of times have a better translation? King James version? Where is God and Jesus version? Laughable... You only serve the corrupt words of your own arroance a man named King James and every other disgusting priest that thought that serving God allowed them to decide which parts of the bible where to be cut, and which ones to be added... 5. What Jesus was meant to do, and why you more or less skinned him alive, wear his name around as if it where his skin and CELEBRATE THE FACT THAT YOU SLAUGHTERED HIM AND CELEBRATE IT? He never told anyone to consume his flesh and drink his blood, it was your ancestors that had him killed and literally ate him and stole his name (Christians yes, you are no better celebrating his death, your hands are stained with his blood) in hopes of becoming immortal such as him. His original words where simply "Eat bread and drink Wine and you shall live forever, which was at that time a great means of living below the age of 101, you see, remove the last number of the ages mentioned in the bible, and you will realize that priests added an extra zero usually in order to make "Jesus`s claim of immortality" seem "realistic" 666. Seek me out once I reveal my Alias, and I shall show you the true path... My number by the way, is 777 but that did not make sense to the priests that changed the bible in 1836, they also added the example regarding eating four legged animals, their entry? "crawfish which has you know... "four legs"" But for now you can decide if you wish to become the ones that love themselves and their kin, or those that give and sacrifice about everything but themselves... SOVEmedia final words "I have fallen" Another "coincidence" of course. Moral: Hate me you of religion and of course moral, because you all follow corrupt versions of the very same one, hate is what you do best, as you tend to run out of things to give and people to sacrifice. For those that are willing to stop dreaming of heaven after death, and willing to create heaven on earth... Well, no need to love me, but hating me is hating my values, my guts, my self, so yeah... I do not turn the other cheek, I send those which out of free will worship me not as someone they must sacrfice everything for, but as the paragon, the last remaining savior. I would keep typing, but you humans expect my words to come from a clearer source right? Well I will not seek you out, but if you seek me, you will find me. Black Angel M.

why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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