How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

ask me if i am a tree. no.

Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck says that he should get his doctor on the phone because his hullucinations are getting worse.

A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

Why does Joel's breathe smell?

Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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