Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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An older man and a young boy are holding hands and walking into the woods together. The boy looks up and say, "gee, I'm scared, it's dark in there." the old man answers, "Yeah, just think how I feel....I have to walk out of here alone!"

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

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Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

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Part 1 Q: what did Sally get for Christmas A: cancer Part 2 knock knock Who's there Not Sally MR

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Justin Beiber is a good singer

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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what happened to the man that no one cares about? No one cares

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

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Why did sally fall of the swing? She had no arms or legs Knock knock who's there? Not sally

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Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

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What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

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roses are red you are dumb no one will care when you die

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Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

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Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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