Knock Knock, Who's There? Legolas They're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you know that in Africa, every 60 seconds... A minute passes. So sad

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A plumber walks into a bar and the bartender says "What will it be?" and the plumber says "no drinks thank you, I'm here to fix the toilet."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why was the little girl cowering in a closet in a corner. A: Because there was a murderer/rapist in her house with her oarents gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Inspirational speaker: "You can judge a man by the way he treats those who can do nothing for him." Me: "Hitler loved dogs."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

My wife is going to the Caribbean Jamaica? No, St Lucia

thumb_up thumb_down -9

On the 1st day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . Windows 95 for my PC On the 2nd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 3rd day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 4th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 5th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 6th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 7th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 8th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 9th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 9 apps a crashin' 8 megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 11 instructions faulty 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me . . . 12 illegal operations 11 instructions faulty 10 modes not supported 9 apps a crashin' 8 Megs overflowin' 7 files missin' 6 ints conflictin' 5 eighty six 4 sectors bad 3 ports not responding 2 GPFs and Windows 95 for my PC

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the easiest way to become filthy rich? There are many ways to earn money. Invest some time into researching the topic.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops