A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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Why did the... Timmy, your mother and I are both tired.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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What does a gay horse eat? Carrots

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What's red and can't speak ? A strawberry

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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like if u think princess kenny id the fairest maiden in all the land. if u havent played or watched pewdiepie play south park the stick of truth, disregard this message.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why does the Batman theme song have 'na na na na na na na na' in it so many times? I guess Batman really likes sodium. Or maybe his record player's broken.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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