How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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Q: What do you call a half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building? A: A half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building.

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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Q: What do you call a blonde, a brunette, and a red head all who are 16 years old and standing in a school? A: High School Students

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

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Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops