Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

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I don't believe in giraffes.

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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Why was the little boy sad? He was recently molested.

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You bumder!

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Roses are red, yup.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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Q: What do you call a half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building? A: A half-black, half-hispanic man crashing a plane full of innocent people into a building.

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why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Someone keeps shitting in my garden

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Whats the same between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple except for the elephant

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What do you call a black priest? "Father" if you are Christian.

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why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

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Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a salted.

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PENIS :)

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

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Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops