How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

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What did the boy with arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How many armless people does it take to change a lightbulb? I dunno, that's why I asked you... Hello?

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CISSY: TIMMY! COME AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK THIS INSTANT TIM: ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\... *CISSY SMACKS TIMMY AND SENDS HIM TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT DINNER.

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why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Cause violence is against the law

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when life throws you lemons you should watch out or you might get hurt.

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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What’s big, grey, has wrinkly skin, and a trunk? An elephant. Oh, you’ve heard this one.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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The global news

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Adam Turkolowoskiaklfadjufsdjksbgsgsafafdsg

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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womens rights

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops