What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

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A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

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Who's cooler than Ellie?? Turtleman hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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Gotta disappoint you there, you see there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of similar organizations which work for the government, and those I work for are black ops, meaning that I would be putting my life in danger if I told you anything about it besides that fact. Its not listed anywhere, its not FBI, its not legislated by any government yet many governments invest their funds there, you could call it something like the interpool, and something like the underground society, except its multi-government driven... A term I sincerely do not fully understand myself, I have certain talents I put to use, but I lack the education in order to be more than a employee for these people.

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

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Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

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When do doctors make house calls? When you're sick.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What's worse than Hitler killing six million Jews? All of the Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctior

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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