Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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i hate non minorities!

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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joke hahhahahah where did u find that joke, on the internet

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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Hey. I came up with an anti-joke. I posted it here.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

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A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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