A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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I was in the 74th hunger games I hid in the cornucopia until almost everyone was dead. Then I saw Katniss and Peeta so while they were distracted with night lock I pulled a rubber chicken out of my ass and beat the shit out of them till they died then I won the 75th hunger game also. They asked me to be there mocking jay but I killed them all and blew the plane up in the Capitol the end. By Adam Chebali

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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Guess what? That is actually a ridiculously broad question, and I can be referring to anything. You really have no chance in guessing "what" is. As a matter of fact, I can just be thinking about a thought of something else, which is not even a concrete thing. Therefore, you really have no chance of guessing what "what" actually is. So I win. You lose.

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It was a beautiful day, John was driving in his car down the street, Kameron was riding his bike preparing for a bike race the following day, and Griffin was having his 7th birthday party. John ran over Kameron and Griffin, he killed Griffin and broke Kameron's legs to where he could never stand/ride again

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says we dont sell juice here. The jew promptly leaves, offended.

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what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

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Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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Why didn't the man answer the Anti Joke? He had a severe mental disorder and was therefore incapable of speech.

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What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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What is the Hardest part of helping a grandma who has having trouble crossing the road? Picking the gravel out of the wrinkles in her knees.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

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what do you call a bunch of crap at the bottom of the ocean? A shitwreck!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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