why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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What do you call a half-Latino, half-Asian baby? The product of a healthy interracial couple.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Who cares its a chicken, it probably got hit by a car. Go to McDonalds and get a chicken sandwich there he is

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What did the mexican firefighter name his kids? Jose and Pablo

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

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Why couldn't the prostitute give a proper blow job..... She had no lips

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops