Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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WILLYS

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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the lemon was sweet.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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Women deserve equal rights.

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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