why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

What's the difference between a lamp?

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

what did the man say to the other man? hey

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

What is the difference between Barack Obama and Simba from the Lion King? One is a cartoon character from a beloved Disney classic and the other is the current President of the United States of America.

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

How do you end a sentence

whats the difference between a fat person and a skinny person ? there weight.

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mother. Oh, hi Mom! Come in!

why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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