Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

What is square and grey? A grey square.

What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

What did the widow get for mother's day? A miscarriage

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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