What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

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Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops