What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

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The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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A black man, a white man and an asian man jump off a building, which one will land first? Due to the equivalence principle, they will all land at the same time.

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sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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If a chicken and a half layed an egg and a half in a day and a half how many pancakes does it take to shingle a roof? -A banana has no bones

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops