What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

thumb_up thumb_down -51

A muslim man with a long beard and wearing a turban and robe boards an aircraft with a large suitcase. The plane later arrives at its destination a few minutes past the estimated arrival time due to bad weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

thumb_up thumb_down -51

You're welcome. On to the next house.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

What will you never see? A white Guy that can jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What ended the black family's picnic? Rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti-jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's worse than bombs? Nukes

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops