What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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Why did the dog start barking? Because it was a dog.

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

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why was the female student failing out of school? because she made bad choices and never gave school her all.

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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Q: Why are the Black Eyed Peas named the Black Eyed Peas? A: I don't know ask them yourself.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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Joke: two polar bears were in a bath tub. One said "pass the soap." And the other one said "no soap, radio!"

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A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Nock nock Who's there K K who? You forgot the K

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Bob Saget

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Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

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What does? 42

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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