Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

Whats bad about being a black jew? You have to sit in the back on the oven.............

What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? The black man is a human being with all of man's well-deserved rights, and the large pizza is an edible item. Furthermore, the black man, if adult and employed, has the propensity to feed a family of four far longer than a large pizza can.

Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

A shark ate your mom

"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

if you write treehouse backwards it spells gullible.

what did the chinese man say to the other asian? he said ??????

Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

what did the penis say to the vagina? SMACK SMACK SMACK

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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