A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to Your House. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken

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How do you keep a black man inside? Shoot his leg.

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

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knock knock... ...no answer

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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Touche.try eating something, I eat low carb crap when I am too sleepy, and today I guess it works.

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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call me maybe.

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

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A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

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Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops