Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

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Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops