Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

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You know whats better than cold pizza? Winning a nobel prize.

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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they told me not to write here but i did

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Penis

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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