why is this joke funny because your laughing

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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Still Carrying Heavy Pet Food? That sucks

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a Fridge.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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rent a cops

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, So what is the colour violet for?

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knock knock whos there haha this is a shit joke anyone that reads this is a jimmy saville follower and got fingered up the bum hole violently by him love you

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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