A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says: Why the long face? The horse says: "My wife's dead."

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What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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She likes her sex like she likes her penises. Without a woman.

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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Roses are red Violets are blue This font is black You smell like shit

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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whos a sick fuck? jake morris

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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