did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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How does a yeti say hi? Raaawwwrrrr

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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What are the similarities between aaron ash and a cow? they both have 7 stomachs.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff!

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What is my name? I dont know

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

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Billy was so silly that he named his pet zebra Spot.

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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roses are red violets are blue get to close to me ill have to give aids to you!

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whats black and large -me

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops